Real Time: Navigating Online Human Connection While Afro Gen Z (for Kenga magazine)
You couldn’t separate the use of the internet from Gen Zs any more than you could the jollof from jollof rice
Afro Gen Zs live in two separate but interwoven worlds: the virtual/digital one (the one some are even beginning to prefer), and the “real”/physical world — it’s almost something out of ‘The Matrix’, with young Africans being so plugged in. Because of this, Gen Zs are often berated by older adults for being too tech-obsessed. But it now goes without saying, that as technology progresses, the digital world is becoming more inextricable from the physical. We’ve transitioned from physical lectures/seminars to online video conferencing, from letters and email to instant messaging, from board games to social VR games; and the transmutations go on.
These rapid and widespread changes in how we interact with the world around us and, ultimately, other people, have also influenced how we forge, maintain, and break connections with one another.
With the rise of Web 2.0 in the early 2000’s, Gen Zs grew up with the internet, one of the greatest and most paradigm-shifting inventions of the past century. Afro Gen Zs weren’t left out in the development of the internet. Research from JTB Tourism, showed that Africa is now the second largest mobile phone market in the world as smartphones outsell computers four to one in most African countries. You couldn’t separate the use of the internet from Gen Zs any more than you could the jollof from the jollof rice. If you don’t get that reference, you need more West African friends.
Technology brought us the internet, which ultimately expanded the mediums and opportunities for deeper human connection that can also, sometimes, transcend distance However, technology didn’t change how Gen Zs communicate. It created it. As a result, Gen Zs have developed a unique approach to connecting with their peers at different levels of intimacy and closeness.
Hey, Bestie! Loose bonds tighten
For starters, the depth of connections that can be made now are exponentially diversified and intensified; there are so many avenues for communication now more than ever, so much so, that it’s quite possible for someone to let you in on every aspect of their day to day — from wake to sleep, and even then, some. You can make and receive phone calls, send text messages, browse social media, and stream music and videos anywhere there is cellular coverage. This makes fostering deeper, more intense connections with total strangers or loose acquaintances a lot more possible, and a lot quicker too. This is something that would otherwise be a lot harder even between people who are in close proximity to each other while forming a connection. Now, it’s not uncommon to “hey bestie” someone you just connected with on Twitter a day ago but are still yet to meet in person.
For Gen Zs, making friends with strangers on the internet is now almost as common as blocking an ex after a bad breakup. Yup, happens all the time.
Ghosting: A Fave of Impatient Netizens
With the rise of internet culture and instant messaging, a new phenomenon rose with it — a very infamous thing called “ghosting”.
Now, we all know what ghosting means, but if you’ve been living under a rock the past fifteen years, ghosting is basically cutting off interactions with another person on any or all mediums of communication without giving them any heads-up or explanation. The term has risen to popularity recently precisely because of how popular instant messaging has become. It’s now very common to hear “we were texting o, then he ghosted me for the whole day”, ghosting is basically the silent treatment, but virtually.
While ghosting is a painful experience for the ghostee, it also makes us think: is our ease of access to people shortening our patience for a response from them?
Tosin, 22, from Nigeria says.
“I think I’m definitely a lot more irritated by slow replies now, than I would have been maybe a couple of years ago. For me, it’s like everyone is always with their phones now; when they’re working, when they’re eating, even when they’re sleeping. Okay, I know that might sound a bit obsessive, but it’s true. So, I take it kind of personally when someone I’m actively texting doesn’t reply to me fast enough. it’s like, we’re all with our phones almost all the time, so if you leave my message on delivered, you probably did it on purpose.”
A study by Zdnet found that people have much more tolerance when they’re waiting for a handwritten letter and are apparently okay with waiting almost four days before getting annoyed about the wait. Now, imagine having to wait four whole days for the person you have a crush on to text you back? They better have fallen off the face of the earth.
Shama, 20, from Ghana, said.
“I do feel impatient for replies, a lot. I feel like the faster a person replies, the more I can communicate with them and eventually become closer to them. slow replies almost equate to distance these days. to me, it means you’re uninterested in a conversation when you take forever to reply”
The same study showed that there was a lower level of impatience from the sender who would have to wait weeks or months for a reply. There wasn’t much they could do but wait because that’s just how things were at the time. But now that instant messaging is a thing, there seems to almost be an air of deliberateness when a reply is delayed and a sense of malice when a reply — even worse — never comes. Yikes! And on a continent like Africa that’s teeming with boisterous youth and with a bustling culture, young Africans do not like the idea of waiting for anyone or anything.
Internet Connections and Digital Movements
It goes without saying that as ways to connect over the internet multiply and develop, and people’s connections deepen, internet communities will continue to emerge. Nowadays, a connection can be very easily formed between people who have never met physically. It’s not unusual for Afro Gen Zs to have just as many, if not more, friends on the internet than they do in real life. Over the internet, it’s so easy to curate the people you chose to interact with, unlike when you meet a bunch of people physically in different spheres. The internet is as wide as the opportunities for curation are numerous.
This allows young Africans to have communities of people all over the internet with similar or identical ideals and interests to interact and grow together. Never before have online connections been as important as they are today, so much so that, according to research conducted by Pew Research Center, 57% of all teens have made new friends online, and a majority of teens say social media platforms have made them feel more connected to their ‘real’ friends lives and feelings, as well as bond with internet friends.
An example of the internet creating community and causing ripples online and offline is the 2020 #EndSARS protest in Nigeria and all over the globe. The majority of this movement stemmed from online outrage at the unlawful profiling, harassment and murder of Nigerians by SARS, a special police unit that swore an oath to do the opposite. The more that people shared on social media about the violent experiences they faced in the hands of SARS, the world got more enraged
Through mainly just Twitter, young and old Nigerians — though mostly young — coordinated their pain and anger in the creation of a cohesive protest movement that made waves seldom seen as a result of “just” the internet.
Most of these people sharing and empathizing with stories of SARS violence had never met before. They were simply accounts on a social media website venting their pain and anger online, yet they were able to create a community so large it got the attention of the world and created real, physical impact on the country.
This is a perfect example of how the internet has changed and advanced the way communication and connection work for Afro Gen Zs.
The rise of a new, progressive wave of new Africans.
The fact that more often than not, we would never actually meet the people we interact with online gives us a kind of virtual freedom behind the glass mask of our screens to be whoever we want to be on the internet, especially in terms of sexuality, gender expression and self-presentation.
Because most of Africa is still highly conservative, especially compared to other continents, the easiest way for many young Africans from marginalized or minority backgrounds to be themselves and find community is over the internet. This swell of minorities over the internet enables people to be themselves regardless of laws or opinions that may have prevented that in real life.
Liberalizing the continent by encouraging more open-mindedness is a slow, gruesome process, but, thanks to technology, Afro Gen Zs are at least afforded a variety of virtual spaces to be who they are in ways that they may not be able to in person.
This exposure to different kinds of people over the internet helps foster tolerance in a way that would have been impossible for previous generations.
“God when?”: Appreciation through FOMO
Social media is amazing in the way that it allows people to share deeper, more intimate parts of themselves with literally strangers.
David, 19, from Nigeria remarked that
“It feels like every time I open Twitter, there’s one fine girl with her fine boyfriend and they are just happy and beautiful and perfect, and they have ten thousand likes just for existing together.”
Romance in itself is now a commonly employed PR tactic, in fact, this article by Fandomwire lists romantic relationships in Hollywood that were thought to be fake. Juicy stuff.
Anyway, according to most Gen Zs, it seems like everywhere you look, there’s a content, attractive couple getting married, or professing love to each other, or just random cute couple selfies, and under these posts it’s not uncommon to see the popular rhetorical question “God when?” — a saying that is used to comically express desire, admiration or jealousy of the perfect couple.
With the swell of seemingly happy and perfect relationships on the internet, it’s easy to get carried away by the limited optical view they have of these people. While it is heart-warming and, to an extent, showing people (especially those in unfulfilling or abusive relationships) that you should be happy and comfortable with the person you’re in a relationship with, on the flip side, it creates an unrealistic expectation of the kind of connections we aspire to make with others, and most especially, what those connections look like. When you’re bombarded with all the romantic content there is on the internet, it’s easy to forget that most of the time, social media posts are a highlight reel of the person’s life. No couple is going to happily take pictures of themselves and share them amidst a heated argument or make frequent posts about how they find their partner irritating to be around.
God, save us from embarrassment, please.
But this isn’t new information to Gen Zs. Having grown up with social media, we have now come to understand that we are being sold a commercialized, airbrushed version of everyday romance that may actually be unattainable in the long run.
It is undeniable that modern technologies and innovations have intrinsically altered the way this new generation of Africans connect with each other on almost every level, widening and deepening existing mediums for connection, and creating new ones that further enrich our shared experiences. Technology and how we use it has literally become one of the mainstays in Gen Z popular culture. It serves as testament to the adaptability and innovation of young Africans who match the pace of digital innovations on the continent by adopting them quickly and adapting them to suit increasingly unique needs.
This essay originally appeared in Kenga Magazine’s Silicon Issue and was edited by Arinze Obiezue for Kenga. You can find it on pages 70–73, along with other interesting pieces, here.
