Living alone diaries #7; following passions, meeting friends and evening flights.

I feel like there’s such a heavy emphasis on tech/tech jobs as of late. Like, there’s always someone on my timeline telling us about their latest foray into frontend development or UI/UX or making apps and stuff like that.

While I do understand that the world is rapidly becoming very digital and so, tech and digital roles are thriving, its also a bit overwhelming most times; it starts to feel like (especially to the unemployed youngins) if you’re not in tech, you’re kind of missing out (?). I don’t know, is it just me?

Earlier this year I had a brief stint in user experience design myself, (am I a hypocrite?) I’ve always had an eye for design and aesthetics, and I’m naturally very meticulous about how things look, so it was actually kind of enjoyable for me, even took a course and everything, it was great.

But after the destabilization of nysc camp, I don’t know exactly why, but I just never got back into it? I’m not ruling it out completely, but it’s just not something I’m passionate about, you know? I mean, I know if I get round to really sitting down and getting into it, I’d be great at it, but the drive is just…low.

I know at some point I’ll get back into it, I just want it to be because I genuinely want to do it, not because it’s a popular path now. It doesn’t help matters that a lot of my family are into tech and the likes (my father and two of my brothers), so its kind of always been there, the desire to do something in tech, I’m just not impassioned right now.

I think its really important to remember that its actually okay to want to do your own thing; its okay to choose your own career path because you genuinely love to do something, that’s how I feel about my writing. I feel like I could write for years (well not obviously, but you get what I mean) and not get tired of it. I genuinely love weaving my emotions and thoughts into words and seeing them on paper, I love the fact that people can read what I write and feel emotions because of my words, there is no greater pleasure for me than writing.

I genuinely love it with my whole heart.

And that’s what I want to do with my life.

So, I will.

I want to set a goal for myself that I’ll make money from my writing this year but I’m also afraid that what if I don’t? and then I’m discouraged. It’s always hard when you want to turn your passion into a source of income, because it’s easy to get things muddled up and I’m afraid of losing my love for writing if I’m not able to make money off of it.

I try to be positive most of the time because I know I’m a good writer, a lot of you amazing people have sent me messages and dms about how much you enjoy reading my stuff and how much you love my writing and let me tell you I literally save all these things in my heart for real, because sometimes that’s where I draw inspiration from; like damn, I’m making someone laugh or I’m teaching my sharing my experiences or I’m even just entertaining someone.

That genuinely means the world to me to be very honest and I’m so grateful for every single person that reads this.

I’m going to update and refresh my CV and start actively working on getting my work out there (getting published/gigs) because I’m good at what I do and I sure as hell deserve to make money off of it.

Another Friday evening, another flight.

Coming to you live from Muhammad Murtala Airport, once again.

We actually got here a bit later than I would have preferred, I’m the kind of person that likes to be at the airport minimum an hour or an hour and a half before my flight, I don’t mind the wait at all. Alas, my mother insisted we go to the mosque and pray before our flight.

No harm done anyways, the flight has even been delayed by 25 minutes, so it’s all moot now, I guess.

Saw a cute little miniso at the airport and got a resistance band and a small plushie for my friend who I’ll be seeing when I get back to Abuja.

The past two days have been simultaneously amazing and exhausting, almost in equal measure; on Wednesday I got to see two of my best friends again. We hadn’t seen in almost over a year (I think) and it was really good to just see them and catch up. Its crazy that we have the kind of friendship that kind of just picks up where we leave it; we text and call (rarely) but it never feels like there’s any space between our meetings, even though there definitely is.

We’ve been friends for going on five years now, bless them.

Then yesterday I got to see a bunch of other people that I’d been wanting to see. Its crazy how you could meet people on social media and forge such genuine connections.

I’m really grateful for all the friends I have in my life, I can’t lie.

Also talked to MJ for a bit with my friends. It was good but I still kind of got tinnitus again. Something about not being fully sober and meeting someone you’ve never met before makes things way less awkward.

Random, but there’s an abnormal amount of pretty, good looking people in the waiting lounge right now, and I’m very glad I’m one of them. I’m also hungry, but airport food is so overpriced and I don’t want to spend that much when I’m still going home.

Gosh, we boarded so quickly I didn’t even have time to type anything before I closed my laptop.

I love evening flights.

I’m glad to be going home anyways (I use the word “home” so much but in this circumstance, I mean the house in Abuja), Lagos is very stressful. Then after a few days home I’ll go back to Jos.

Which is both good and bad. Good because I get to be alone and have my own space, bad because I have to spend money taking care of myself.

Sigh, it’s a hard life.

I’ll take being alone anyways, my family is intrinsically exhausting.

Oddly emotional right now, maybe it’s the song I’m listening to right now. It’s called “Night trouble” by Petit Biscuit (one of my favorite artists).

I’m really…surprised that so many people read this, and it makes me feel very warm inside to know that people actually do and they enjoy it. Its crazy to me.

Thank you for reading and clapping and interacting and posting my content, it really does mean the world to me.

Anyways, I’m going to go now. I’ll write a bit more when I get to Abuja.

Fuck.

Its now Monday, the day I’m supposed to post this and I didn’t actually write more.

Damn.

Yesterday I got crossed and I’m still coming down from that, so I’m trying as hard as possible to be coherent right now.

I’m leaving back to Jos tomorrow, so that will conclude my series of travels, so crazy. I’m honestly looking forward to just being in my own space and relaxing; I’m tired of having people around me constantly, its very draining.

Okay, I’m going to actually post this now because being coherent right now is hard.

Random quick question; why do all the old mommies love that “Buga” song?

Like who even sang it? And why is it so popular?

I’m tired.

Okay, okay, I’m going now.

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