Living alone diaries #24; Another road-trip, making money, and morning routines
Hi guysssss.
I’m in a good mood today, I wonder how long this will last.
Anyways, away from the gloom of last weeks entry, innit.
Its posting day today, and I’m just sitting down to write this at work, while listening to miss arianka’s (if you get this reference, we should be friends) Dangerous woman.
It’s a really nostalgic album for me because of my life during its release. Its one of her works that I really rinsed, like, I listened to it so much I’m sure Ariana herself was bothered by the number of streams.
Anyways, my week has been very up and down, really.
I travelled down to Abuja for the weekend (again), and at this point I can walk to Abuja from Jos with my eyes closed.
(This is a lie so please don’t ask me to prove it)
But this trip was different because It wasn’t just for fun; I had some actual adulting to do, so it was mildly stressful.
Going home was…odd (?)
It was familiar in the way that I’ve lived there for most of my life, but it wasn’t as comforting as I expected it would be, like a home should be.
I wish I had the money to fully move out and live on my own, if there’s one thing I’m dreading its going back home after I finish my service year (march-ish).
All that’s really keeping me there is money, if I’m being honest. I need to strike it rich soon, or am die. Considering fraud… (this is another lie please EFCC I’m a law abiding citizen and I pay taxes)
But in all seriousness, the pressure to have my shit together is very, very real, and sometimes I marvel at the magnitude of it. Does everyone feel it this badly? People around me tell me I’m doing well, and I’m doing the best I can and all that, but it just always feels like I’m underperforming, like there’s more I could be doing.
And with how I’ve been feeling recently, I’ve been so unmotivated to actually do things, then I get upset about that too and then I’m drowning in hopelessness.
Completely random, but thinking bout you are one of the most underrated Ariana songs.
Anyways, back to my point now.
It feels like a weight on my future, and its what has stopped me from looking forward to it as much.
There’s so much uncertainty and struggle and fear, most especially in this country, that its really hard to be optimistic.
I guess these feelings are part of being in your early twenties, but with my anxiety, it’s a lot most times.
But I guess I just have to allow myself the grace that I am trying, and I am doing what I can, and I am advancing. Even though its not as quantifiable as I would love it to be.
We move, innit.
…
Something I’m very proud of, is my consistency.
Before this year, I didn’t think of myself as a particularly disciplined or consistent person, but I’ve actually shocked myself into thinking otherwise; with my fitness journey, my saving and spending habits, and even this series, I’ve proved to myself that I can set my mind to, and do things committedly and consistently, no matter the obstacles.
Everyday for the past two weeks I have completed a simple, but effective mindful morning routine; wake up, brush my teeth, meditate, do some yoga, and then journal.
It’s the perfect sequence because its not too long that I can’t do it on work days, and it’s not that short where it doesn’t feel indulgent.
I love slow, calm mornings, because I hate waking up and immediately jumping on my day, and I realized that these practices set me up to have calmer, less anxious days. This is because during these practices, all I focus on is myself, my body, and my breath.
I very much recommend having a morning routine as well. Nothing too crazy, it could be allocating 30 minutes after you brush your teeth to read a book and drink tea or coffee without the distraction of your phone or a tv or any screens, it could be making a breakfast you enjoy for yourself every morning at the same time.
It doesn’t really matter exactly what you do, as long as it’s a completely solitary thing that brings focus or care to you and your body.
Okay I’m done being a life coach for now.
…
I hope you’re all talking care of yourselves and being kinder during your bad days.
Have a good week.
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